Funny thing....

The funny thing about writing my thoughts down and posting them on the internet is that I can never really take into account the things which I havn't thought yet. At the back of my head I know that these things, which I havn't thought, are going to be wild, diverse, shocking, happy and sad. The end of that last statment is a mediocre description of the thoughts I've had today and yesterday. I've had my firm resolve flipped around, the focus of my perspective is on another aspect, and I let my feelings get deeper into the tangle of my reason. What seemingly MUST happen doesn't seem like doom anymore, what should happen is covered now in the ambiguity of the future, it seems the scars are avoidable (well, the ones I envisaged) and hope is back in the picture, filling and spreading from the hole of where I tried to cut it out.
It was rather wet and cold today, but I saw the new blossoms on the trees, heard the birds making a racket and realised something; people who don't look on the bright side need to get a life.

Sky

Barely two minutes ago, I noticed something which I had never noticed before. When looking from the west-facing second storey windows of my house, the lights of Bathurst can be seen as a faint glow in the air when it is raining lightly. It looks pretty cool.

Today I came to a conclusion that I should have came to weeks ago. This conclusion requires action. Sooner or later. It's one which makes me sad. I can stay how I am, knowing what MUST happen, I could try to change what should happen, or, I could say what needs to be said. None of these will make anyone happy in the short term. But If I say what need be, then the scars mightn't hurt so much.

Sometimes it takes a bit of rain to show that the cities' lights are on, and sometimes it takes a bit of trouble for Jared to see the position of another person's life. Go figure.

Growing up

The realisation that every day, I will have to decide which direction to go for the rest of my life.
That holding hands is scary, exciting, terrifying, happy, unsure and secure at the same time.
That every day for the rest of my life, God has taken away my reason to fear the "Old tin Hat".
That the peace of God comes with having the humility to ask him to heal the deepest wounds, that hate is a wound that festers and that love heals a crippled heart more surely than any quack. That physical pain and discomfort could always be worse. That my problems aren't unique. That taking the opportunities you have is like making new freinds, it's never smooth at first, sometimes it hurts, sometimes you make a lasting freindship, there's always scope for mutual disapointment, you might end up married to one and you'll never know them if you don't introduce yourself. That sometimes my analogies just don't work. That God's grace is always enough, and that coffee addiction is a real problem if all the motel has is instant.

And that there is always something I havn't realised or noticed right under my nose.

For instance, I missed a tiny bit just near my right nostril when I was Shaving yesterday.
I used to be impatient to have facial hair, now I think its a bit of a nuisence.

Slàn!

Maybe one day I'll feel inspired when writing.