Something

I was thinking of the dreams that I'd
had one year ago,

And I saw many hopes that had died.

There was no funeral for those hopes,
save for the tears that I cried,

And next year,
I'll remember them no more.

But one hope has stayed close,
And shines far more than most.

It's a hope for something better,
than crying for dead hopes;

It's the hope
which Jesus gave to me.



This one just popped out, I guess.

Slàn!

Hmmm

I Shunned their message,
for their choice of words was lacking.
Meaning of their message,
Lost on the hard ears of criticism.
They praised with their heart,
And I judged with my soul;
But who judges me,
And who judges my goals?

Humble my heart Lord,
fill my with your holy spirit;
Let me tear down no more,
And give me the strength to surrender.
For in surrender to you lord,
is man's only surity,
and leading form you,
only comes through humility.

A humble heart loves,
and builds others up.
Pride destroys beutiful things,
and pushes out of it's way
all things it sees as in it's way.
Loves sees all the healing it can do,
and nothing it cannot forgive.
Pride cuts love up and labels it:
"Weirdo who can't understand the way we should live".

By me.

I feel that this one is a little higgledy-piggledy, First stanza I'm talking about me, Next I'm talking to God (always a good thing to do), and then I launch into figure and proverb-like observation. Must be all the Christmas dinner, and the Rum Balls.


Slàn!

Jazzy

Hum

I've been thinking about a lot of things recently. In my real diary, which I've kept for about three years, I've been able to see how there has been so much of a change in my heart since I decided to follow Jesus. It really is unimaginable that I was the Jared that I used to be, yet the things done by the Jared I used to be, still affect the Jared writing now. Consequences are variable creatures; sometimes I can hear them rumble like thunder in the distance, knowing that the time will come when the storm will come crashing onto me, and yet I know that even when weathering that storm that God is with me in the middle of a storm that a younger me created. On the other hand, some consequences are much to be looked forward to, even if it is the reconcilliation of the merest worry of a friend.

Proverbs 10:12 says this:
"Hatred stirs up strife, But love covers all sins."
This is my favorite proverb, espescially the last half. God's Love covers all my sins. That's just so awesome.

Psalm 25:7 says this:
"Do not remember the sins of my youth, nor my transgressions; According to Your mercy remember me, for your Goodness sake, O Lord."

I think that a rather important part of a Christians' life is Humility (something that I sometimes overlook). I think humility is a right understanding of our relationship to God multiplied by Love ( R x L = H). It took David a right understanding of the relationship between Himself and God to confess, or even understand that the sins of his youth were a problem, and in other parts of the psalm he prays "Show me Your ways, O Lord; Teach me Your Paths. Lead me in Your truth and teach me, For you are the God of my salvation; On you I wait all the day." (Vs's 4 and 5)

But my main Case for humility in our lives is from Vs. 9:
"The humble he guides in justice, And the humble he teaches his way"
Also in James 4:6 it says this:
"God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble"

Proverbs 13:1
"A Wise son heeds his father's instruction, but a scoffer does not listen to rebuke"

And Proverbs 13:13
"He who despises the word will be destroyed, But he who fears the commandment will be rewarded"

The humble are given grace, Given guidance and God teaches them his way.
I think that to fear God's commandments we must be humble, and that it is with worldly pride that the word is despised, and to those being proud, God resists them.

Bit of a humbling thought, I thought.

I Wonder........

I wonder,

when I see the picture of your creation,
that I'm in that picture too.
That when I cry my deepest sorrows,
you catch my every tear.

And when I chose to come to you,
the angels where rejoicing.
That you saw me here on earth,
and made me your temple.

You take my brokeness in hand,

and for the first time I remember,
you knit my heart together.

And I wonder,

How you love me,

more than I can ever understand.


Well,
That one was spontaneous.

Jazzy

The Shopping centre

Ages ago, when I was little, I loved going to the shopping centre. Absolutly loved it. We'd go into Coles, Big W, Grace Brothers and all the other ones. Dad would show, and tell me cool stuff; like why the cakes would rise in the oven (I wasn't interested in the bread, just the cakes), and how to ride the trolly in the car park and stuff like that.
One time, we were in Big W, and though I absolutly loved being with mum and dad and my sibllings, I was distracted by a large screen that was displaying the latest computer games, and I was absolutly entralled. After a while, I got bored, and went looking for mum and/or dad.
I couldn't find them anywhere.
The thought hit me; here was I, alone, in a big scary shopping centre (isn't it funny how so many places are okay when there's people to look after you, but are suddenly alien, cold and terrifying when there isn't?) and I was absolutly distressed because I was not just facing the prospect, but being in the middle of being alone and apart from my family.
So after what seemed like my whole life, I went and told the wonderful checkout clark (I was bawling my eyes out by this time) and told her that I had lost Mummy, and she (I don't remember what she looked like, but I was wearing a red jumper and blue jeans) got onto the P.A. and announced that A young Boy had lost his mummy, about five, with dark hair and Brown eyes, wearing a red jumper and blue jeans (that's why I remember!, I think she said somthing about checkout numbers and somthing else as well, but I was five).

Anyway, what I learned from that experiance at the time was that sometimes getting distracted by computer games in the shops is much more trouble than it's worth. But what I learned today from that experiance, is that once we are enthralled by somthing that isn't God, we'll stay that way until it falls through, and be left with a sinking feeling in our heart at the thought of being alone. There is a contrast. Somtimes God will take us over to the (insert thing here) and say "here are your choices, pick one"; or he'll take us to (insert other thing, or possibly same thing as before here) and say "you're having that one and that's that" and the only way to get out if it is to run away from God. And that when we are holding Gods hand and trusting him to take us through the right shops, although I might see the newest game and really want it, but just have to pass it by; or when I make a choice and it was not such a good one, that I can just hold on to God's hand and it is well with my soul (I love that Hymn, by the way).

The Answer is not Changed

Do I?
Do I not?

The answer writhes in my hand,
knowing it full well
I try to crush it in my hands.
But it will not be crushed.

I hide it in my hands,
but it screams out it's truth,
It's part of me, the answer,
I am partly the answer.

I try to stifle it's yells,
I am afraid of anyone else knowing it.
Afraid of having that tender and vulnerable part of me
known by the object of the question.

I try to stifle the answer,
I try to stifle myself,
To crush a part of myself,
And I bleed.

Wrapped in the obcession
of my battle against myself
I had not heard God,
Calling me to stop hurting myself!
How had I forgotten that I am his temple?
How had I tried to crush that part of myself?

The answer cannot be changed by me,
not divided, not forgotten, nor it's value lessend.
The answer is,

I do.

By Jared

I've been thinking a real lot lately, and among all the waffle that went through my brain there was some actual thinking, and I've come to a conclusion.

The answer needs to be turned over to God,
I reckon I've done that.
Trusting God is somtimes a bit like offering my arm for an tetnus injection, you know that there will be a jab of pain and a local reaction that swells to the size of a tennis ball (well, it does for me), but I know that result of my trusting God to do with my answer (or is it his?) is like the benefits of the vaccination. Tetnus does some terrible things to the body when it gets a hold. I know some of the(really cool) people reading this would call the description a "fast forwardy" bit. So I won't.

Anyway,
Slàn!

J

Funny thing....

The funny thing about writing my thoughts down and posting them on the internet is that I can never really take into account the things which I havn't thought yet. At the back of my head I know that these things, which I havn't thought, are going to be wild, diverse, shocking, happy and sad. The end of that last statment is a mediocre description of the thoughts I've had today and yesterday. I've had my firm resolve flipped around, the focus of my perspective is on another aspect, and I let my feelings get deeper into the tangle of my reason. What seemingly MUST happen doesn't seem like doom anymore, what should happen is covered now in the ambiguity of the future, it seems the scars are avoidable (well, the ones I envisaged) and hope is back in the picture, filling and spreading from the hole of where I tried to cut it out.
It was rather wet and cold today, but I saw the new blossoms on the trees, heard the birds making a racket and realised something; people who don't look on the bright side need to get a life.