I strain to see ahead,
moving mists cloud my veiw;
I turn around,
and there is yesterday.
I have a turbulant relationship with yesterday.
Sometimes I wish to forget she existed,
and remember that the things she carried cut my deepest wounds;
but at other times, I relished her presence.
She pushes me into today when tomorrow appears threatening,
and she gives me gifts of retrospect,
God teaches me wisdom with her.
Satan throws shames umpon her,
shows in her all my flaws;
and tries to grab the hope God gave me.
But in all this,
God shows me his Love in yesterday,
faithfully promises mercy in yesterday
and never leaves me alone to Satan's Batterings.
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Thursday, January 18, 2007
Strangly elated
Today I received in the mail a UAC offer for my first preference, Double degree in Nursing and Paramedics. I felt kind of aprehensive, and I had thoughts going through my head like; "What if I put the wrong thing on my form and didn't notice?" and "what will I do if I did mess it up?".
I feel strangly elated somehow. Finding out that I have the privelage to spend the next four years studying, obtaining a large Debt that will be paid off in my taxes for years to come and to comitt four years of my time in a few short minutes of filling out acceptance forms.
I'll get over the elation soon, though.
It's really hot here and space near a fan is at a premium.
Slàn!
I feel strangly elated somehow. Finding out that I have the privelage to spend the next four years studying, obtaining a large Debt that will be paid off in my taxes for years to come and to comitt four years of my time in a few short minutes of filling out acceptance forms.
I'll get over the elation soon, though.
It's really hot here and space near a fan is at a premium.
Slàn!
Saturday, January 13, 2007
Tomorrow
"Tomorrow's Gonna be another day"
By Tommy Boyce and Steve Venet
I'm gonna pack up all my pain,
I been a keepin' in my heart,
I'm gonna catch me the fastest train
And make me a brand new start
But that's okay,
Tomorrow's gonna be another day,
Hey, hey, hey.
And I don't care what they say
Tomorrow's gonna be, tomorrow's gonna be,
Tomorrow's gonna be another day.
hey, hey, hey,
hey, hey, hey.
They say there's a lotta fish,
Swimmin' in the deep blue sea,
I'm gonna catch me a pretty one
And she'll be good to me.
But that's okay,
Tomorrow's gonna be another day,
Hey, hey, hey.
And I don't care what they say
Tomorrow's gonna be, tomorrow's gonna be,
Tomorrow's gonna be another day.
Yay, yay, yay,
Yay, yay, yay.
Well, I ain't gonna think about ya,
'Cause it ain't no use no more,
I'm gonna make it fine without ya,
Just like I did before,
I'm on my way.
Tomorrow's gonna be another day,
Hey, hey, hey.
And I don't care what they say
Tomorrow's gonna be, tomorrow's gonna be,
Tomorrow's gonna be another day.
Yay, yay, yay,
Yay, yay, yay.
This is one of my favorite Monkees songs, partly because there's really cool Guitar and Harmonica Parts, the other reasons I like it are elusive to dictation.
I can't really say that the first verse is the best example of what to do. I've certainly tried packing up the pain (I haven't caught any trains for the purpose of getting away from pain, though, perhaps in the metaphorical sense I have) and that goes nowhere pleasant. Taking pain to Jesus is far better, but by no means an instant cure, wounds to our hearts take a long time to heal, but Jesus is the best Spiritual Cardiologist.
Second verse. Personally, I don't think that fishing is quite the best analogy for this subject, Because you don't know what's in the ocean. You cast your line and wait to see what bites - and whatever you catch that doesn't appeal you throw back. I think that perhaps speargun fishing would be a better analogy, you choose and pursue your quarry - and at the right moment, BAM! a hungry grey nurse Shark bites your nose off!
The third verse. I think I like this one. This is how I've approached many hurts, the results have been Good, bad, ugly and very ugly. When someone hurts you deeply, "Just like I did before" is just wishful thinking. You need to find a new way.
Oh well,
Maybe I'll share anothor of my Fav songs later.
Slàn!
By Tommy Boyce and Steve Venet
I'm gonna pack up all my pain,
I been a keepin' in my heart,
I'm gonna catch me the fastest train
And make me a brand new start
But that's okay,
Tomorrow's gonna be another day,
Hey, hey, hey.
And I don't care what they say
Tomorrow's gonna be, tomorrow's gonna be,
Tomorrow's gonna be another day.
hey, hey, hey,
hey, hey, hey.
They say there's a lotta fish,
Swimmin' in the deep blue sea,
I'm gonna catch me a pretty one
And she'll be good to me.
But that's okay,
Tomorrow's gonna be another day,
Hey, hey, hey.
And I don't care what they say
Tomorrow's gonna be, tomorrow's gonna be,
Tomorrow's gonna be another day.
Yay, yay, yay,
Yay, yay, yay.
Well, I ain't gonna think about ya,
'Cause it ain't no use no more,
I'm gonna make it fine without ya,
Just like I did before,
I'm on my way.
Tomorrow's gonna be another day,
Hey, hey, hey.
And I don't care what they say
Tomorrow's gonna be, tomorrow's gonna be,
Tomorrow's gonna be another day.
Yay, yay, yay,
Yay, yay, yay.
This is one of my favorite Monkees songs, partly because there's really cool Guitar and Harmonica Parts, the other reasons I like it are elusive to dictation.
I can't really say that the first verse is the best example of what to do. I've certainly tried packing up the pain (I haven't caught any trains for the purpose of getting away from pain, though, perhaps in the metaphorical sense I have) and that goes nowhere pleasant. Taking pain to Jesus is far better, but by no means an instant cure, wounds to our hearts take a long time to heal, but Jesus is the best Spiritual Cardiologist.
Second verse. Personally, I don't think that fishing is quite the best analogy for this subject, Because you don't know what's in the ocean. You cast your line and wait to see what bites - and whatever you catch that doesn't appeal you throw back. I think that perhaps speargun fishing would be a better analogy, you choose and pursue your quarry - and at the right moment, BAM! a hungry grey nurse Shark bites your nose off!
The third verse. I think I like this one. This is how I've approached many hurts, the results have been Good, bad, ugly and very ugly. When someone hurts you deeply, "Just like I did before" is just wishful thinking. You need to find a new way.
Oh well,
Maybe I'll share anothor of my Fav songs later.
Slàn!
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
Of Windows and Frogs
No, This post is not going to have a go at microsoft, however tempting it may be.
Last night, as I was trying to drift off to sleep, I was faced with a dilemma:
There is a pond in our yard, in the pond live several frogs. These frogs are Very noisy at night. The air outside was cool, however, if I shut the window my room would become rather stuffy and uncomfortable, making it hard to get to sleep. The frogs made it hard to get to sleep.
I was stuck between a frog and a glass pane.
I chose to endure the frogs, and I did eventually get to sleep, but not after what seemed to be the recitation of all printed words in Strong's exausting concordance in three frog languages.
And so this minor ordeal (Whinge whinge) was forgotten until this afternoon, when It came back to me like a wet frog in the face as I remembered a passage of scripture I hadn't read in ages.
" Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom also we have access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God. And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope. Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us."
Romans 5:1-5
I don't really think that frogs croaking at bedtime count as a very impressive tribulation, but it was a good reminder about persevering on towards the goal (sleep) and that developing perseverance and character produce hope. I think there is sometimes a tendency in the Church to possess an attitude of "the easy way", "don't offend anyone" and "let's be wishy-washy so no-one will have a go at us for what we believe". These sorts of attitudes is what I think happens when Christianity is bled dry of all perseverance and character, because there is no hope in them. None at all.
There's my rant for today.
Slàn!
Last night, as I was trying to drift off to sleep, I was faced with a dilemma:
There is a pond in our yard, in the pond live several frogs. These frogs are Very noisy at night. The air outside was cool, however, if I shut the window my room would become rather stuffy and uncomfortable, making it hard to get to sleep. The frogs made it hard to get to sleep.
I was stuck between a frog and a glass pane.
I chose to endure the frogs, and I did eventually get to sleep, but not after what seemed to be the recitation of all printed words in Strong's exausting concordance in three frog languages.
And so this minor ordeal (Whinge whinge) was forgotten until this afternoon, when It came back to me like a wet frog in the face as I remembered a passage of scripture I hadn't read in ages.
" Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom also we have access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God. And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope. Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us."
Romans 5:1-5
I don't really think that frogs croaking at bedtime count as a very impressive tribulation, but it was a good reminder about persevering on towards the goal (sleep) and that developing perseverance and character produce hope. I think there is sometimes a tendency in the Church to possess an attitude of "the easy way", "don't offend anyone" and "let's be wishy-washy so no-one will have a go at us for what we believe". These sorts of attitudes is what I think happens when Christianity is bled dry of all perseverance and character, because there is no hope in them. None at all.
There's my rant for today.
Slàn!
Saturday, January 06, 2007
Something
I was thinking of the dreams that I'd
had one year ago,
And I saw many hopes that had died.
There was no funeral for those hopes,
save for the tears that I cried,
And next year,
I'll remember them no more.
But one hope has stayed close,
And shines far more than most.
It's a hope for something better,
than crying for dead hopes;
It's the hope
which Jesus gave to me.
This one just popped out, I guess.
Slàn!
had one year ago,
And I saw many hopes that had died.
There was no funeral for those hopes,
save for the tears that I cried,
And next year,
I'll remember them no more.
But one hope has stayed close,
And shines far more than most.
It's a hope for something better,
than crying for dead hopes;
It's the hope
which Jesus gave to me.
This one just popped out, I guess.
Slàn!
Sunday, December 24, 2006
Hmmm
I Shunned their message,
for their choice of words was lacking.
Meaning of their message,
Lost on the hard ears of criticism.
They praised with their heart,
And I judged with my soul;
But who judges me,
And who judges my goals?
Humble my heart Lord,
fill my with your holy spirit;
Let me tear down no more,
And give me the strength to surrender.
For in surrender to you lord,
is man's only surity,
and leading form you,
only comes through humility.
A humble heart loves,
and builds others up.
Pride destroys beutiful things,
and pushes out of it's way
all things it sees as in it's way.
Loves sees all the healing it can do,
and nothing it cannot forgive.
Pride cuts love up and labels it:
"Weirdo who can't understand the way we should live".
By me.
I feel that this one is a little higgledy-piggledy, First stanza I'm talking about me, Next I'm talking to God (always a good thing to do), and then I launch into figure and proverb-like observation. Must be all the Christmas dinner, and the Rum Balls.
Slàn!
Jazzy
for their choice of words was lacking.
Meaning of their message,
Lost on the hard ears of criticism.
They praised with their heart,
And I judged with my soul;
But who judges me,
And who judges my goals?
Humble my heart Lord,
fill my with your holy spirit;
Let me tear down no more,
And give me the strength to surrender.
For in surrender to you lord,
is man's only surity,
and leading form you,
only comes through humility.
A humble heart loves,
and builds others up.
Pride destroys beutiful things,
and pushes out of it's way
all things it sees as in it's way.
Loves sees all the healing it can do,
and nothing it cannot forgive.
Pride cuts love up and labels it:
"Weirdo who can't understand the way we should live".
By me.
I feel that this one is a little higgledy-piggledy, First stanza I'm talking about me, Next I'm talking to God (always a good thing to do), and then I launch into figure and proverb-like observation. Must be all the Christmas dinner, and the Rum Balls.
Slàn!
Jazzy
Friday, December 22, 2006
Hum
I've been thinking about a lot of things recently. In my real diary, which I've kept for about three years, I've been able to see how there has been so much of a change in my heart since I decided to follow Jesus. It really is unimaginable that I was the Jared that I used to be, yet the things done by the Jared I used to be, still affect the Jared writing now. Consequences are variable creatures; sometimes I can hear them rumble like thunder in the distance, knowing that the time will come when the storm will come crashing onto me, and yet I know that even when weathering that storm that God is with me in the middle of a storm that a younger me created. On the other hand, some consequences are much to be looked forward to, even if it is the reconcilliation of the merest worry of a friend.
Proverbs 10:12 says this:
"Hatred stirs up strife, But love covers all sins."
This is my favorite proverb, espescially the last half. God's Love covers all my sins. That's just so awesome.
Psalm 25:7 says this:
"Do not remember the sins of my youth, nor my transgressions; According to Your mercy remember me, for your Goodness sake, O Lord."
I think that a rather important part of a Christians' life is Humility (something that I sometimes overlook). I think humility is a right understanding of our relationship to God multiplied by Love ( R x L = H). It took David a right understanding of the relationship between Himself and God to confess, or even understand that the sins of his youth were a problem, and in other parts of the psalm he prays "Show me Your ways, O Lord; Teach me Your Paths. Lead me in Your truth and teach me, For you are the God of my salvation; On you I wait all the day." (Vs's 4 and 5)
But my main Case for humility in our lives is from Vs. 9:
"The humble he guides in justice, And the humble he teaches his way"
Also in James 4:6 it says this:
"God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble"
Proverbs 13:1
"A Wise son heeds his father's instruction, but a scoffer does not listen to rebuke"
And Proverbs 13:13
"He who despises the word will be destroyed, But he who fears the commandment will be rewarded"
The humble are given grace, Given guidance and God teaches them his way.
I think that to fear God's commandments we must be humble, and that it is with worldly pride that the word is despised, and to those being proud, God resists them.
Bit of a humbling thought, I thought.
Proverbs 10:12 says this:
"Hatred stirs up strife, But love covers all sins."
This is my favorite proverb, espescially the last half. God's Love covers all my sins. That's just so awesome.
Psalm 25:7 says this:
"Do not remember the sins of my youth, nor my transgressions; According to Your mercy remember me, for your Goodness sake, O Lord."
I think that a rather important part of a Christians' life is Humility (something that I sometimes overlook). I think humility is a right understanding of our relationship to God multiplied by Love ( R x L = H). It took David a right understanding of the relationship between Himself and God to confess, or even understand that the sins of his youth were a problem, and in other parts of the psalm he prays "Show me Your ways, O Lord; Teach me Your Paths. Lead me in Your truth and teach me, For you are the God of my salvation; On you I wait all the day." (Vs's 4 and 5)
But my main Case for humility in our lives is from Vs. 9:
"The humble he guides in justice, And the humble he teaches his way"
Also in James 4:6 it says this:
"God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble"
Proverbs 13:1
"A Wise son heeds his father's instruction, but a scoffer does not listen to rebuke"
And Proverbs 13:13
"He who despises the word will be destroyed, But he who fears the commandment will be rewarded"
The humble are given grace, Given guidance and God teaches them his way.
I think that to fear God's commandments we must be humble, and that it is with worldly pride that the word is despised, and to those being proud, God resists them.
Bit of a humbling thought, I thought.
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